-Worn & Wrinkly

I can feel myself ripping at the seams,

Begging to walk about noticeably, frayed.

The truth is devastating.

I do not want to see, but I long for illusion.

After all, the destination remains the same, but only one comes with a smile.

It maybe temporary bliss, but I remain faithful to hope.

-KBJ

“(D)on’t (B)reak, (K)id”

To my sweet, rosy-cheeked, little mischief-maker,

I am writing this as your mother, although, you refer to me as Wonder Woman, I am human. It will be years before you read this and I may change it a million times, but there are a few things in this world I can protect you from. If I had it my way I would stand strong & tall, with a shield just like Wonder Woman and shield you from any hurt you may experience throughout life. However, if I did so, I would be robbing you of living. My job is not done until, I not only teach you to survive, but teach you to live.

My first piece of advice, I am sure you will have no problem understanding. I cannot protect you from emotions. However, I urge you in any negative moment, stand strong! Stay true to your values and morals, even when others can be excused for violating them. Although, I feel like there is never an,” excuse”, for someone violating your standards, wants, or needs; it happens. The only person that can choose who you become, is you. Don’t cave in and sacrifice yourself for another. You’re big loving heart is probably confused after you read that, but I can tell you from experience, if you give, overlook, make exceptions, and put someone’s needs before your own, it will not change anyone but yourself.¬† It is easy to lose yourself in helping others, but what you need to remember is someone who wants to be healed will ask for help.

Secondly, we don’t all think, talk, or receive things the same. We all come from different places, standards, cultures, and environments. You are the ONLY, you, there is out there. Your past, your mistakes, your present, and successes are what make you unique. There is not another human being walking around out there that had the same path you did. We are all flawed beings from the start, but don’t ever forget you have the power to be who or whatever you wish. Find yourself and stand firm, some will love you and some will not, but don’t ever expect something from someone. Expectations are what let us down. Hope with all your heart, but don’t ever expect someone to treat you as you treat them. You can hope those around you will change, but you cannot force it or do it for them. All you can do is lead by example and if stones are thrown your way, Don’t break, kid, not everyone is going to appreciate your journey. Change happens within, it is a very personal thing that occurs from the yearning of the soul. There will be times you are forced to choose yourself and it will feel terrible and wrong in many days, but it is up to you to remain complete because your cannot love anyone else until you love yourself.

We have one life to live and as we have always said:

“What’s in there, love?” (points to her son’s chest)

“My heart!”

“And what’s in your heart?”

“Love, mommy!”

“That’s right, and whats the only thing that can change the world?”

“LOVE!” ūüôā

“Where does change start?”

“ME!”:)

Love yourself and others. Be thankful and kind, my little soldier. If you learn anything along journey learn to love and be loved.

-KBJ

Love me one day, just don’t make it today…

As a present day drifter:¬† I am somewhat shattered and have taped myself back together by¬† risky decisions and¬† aspirations. The trickery of habitual roads has led me astray. My self discovery expedition has become pandemonium. My soul is full and drifting about in the energy of others, as a ship wreck full of diamonds, would slowly scatter about with every crash of ocean’s waves.

-KBJ

The Courtesy of Chaos

It is true that we live in the same situations until rise above them? It‚Äôs an internal hell of insanity. The soul yearns to be loved to a degree the fondness is manifested out feeble intentions. It‚Äôs something that happens at full tilt. It‚Äôs joyous and overly appropriate. A fondness developed by emotion without definition caresses our heartache and fear. It is something so needed that we question it, but take it to our hearts, as if it completes our being. Just as it is accepted, villainous energy tightly grips the humble future of it all….

Mr. Unannounced

Well, hello, Mr. Unexpected… Who are you and who sent you to open this door that I have yet to acknowledge? It is the unforeseen circumstances that our energy has danced in unison. The perfect brokenness inside of one another fitting together like puzzles pieces. It is the nervous feeling within that suggests we may cause more destruction than either of us deserve. Maybe if we just stand right here for a while it could be different. There is no need for the practice of love, for now. Your thoughtfulness is sticky and my freedom is determined. You should get to know the side of me that rebels before you go all in.

Is it Fate?

It brings a smile to my face to introduce you to this character. He is¬†creative, charming, naturally¬†handsome, determined, and passionate.¬†¬†Not to sound clich√©, but¬†I can still remember the first moment our eyes met! It’s a rare moment in time. My guess is that time stood still because I can distinctly, to this day, smell the room, hear the¬†song playing on the stereo, and experience the comfort of completeness I felt inside when his eyes met mine. It is unrivaled. Sounds like forever kind of story, huh? Well… would you believe me if I told you that we, “dated”, on and off for 10 years, sometimes it was me that drifted, others it was him. There was never a sad, hurtful, boring moment between us. It was fun, sexy, and enticing. However,¬†life had a hold of us and would alert us when¬†it was time to go out there in the real world and gain some more experience. Then suddenly,¬†we would unexpectedly be in the same place at the same time. Even if it was at the entrance of a Kroger supermarket, we had this divine, universal connection. It was not until we were in our late twenties that we had a serious relationship. He was the prince charming to my fairytale and the best part was I was never disappointed or let down. We had what other’s yearn for; we¬†EQUALLY made one another a better person.¬†It was a slice of paradise.

All¬†good things come to an end.¬†What?¬†Did you think it would be that easy? One moment turned it all around.¬†It felt itchy and uncomfortable. We didn’t feel special anymore. Our worlds fell apart and the¬†therapists lined their pockets. I was shattered, contemplating on how we could easily transition our children into living in separate homes. Days of denial passed before the universe grabbed us tight and placed us in the same place at the same time.

Who would have known a You Tube video about Aliens and the world’s creation would send us on a journey that can only be experienced and never explained.¬†Disclaimer: This is not fiction and I¬†not¬†writing about bright, green life forms with big,¬†black eyes.¬†I am speaking of a journey about religion, God, mind, body & soul; astronomy, nature, and awareness. If you gather anything from reading this, get curious and do your own research.¬†In other words that maybe easily understood, this¬†journey was created by divine intervention. I¬†would love to share the tale of discovery with you now, but you will have to¬†read the book. ūüôā Here’s a little sneak peek:

Can you say that the universe (i.e. everything) confirms that your relationship is a divine union? The world shared secrets with us¬†that no one could begin to think up! Listen to me!¬†You will find love and¬†partnership once you can be yourself, naked for the world to see… We are human and we lose faith from time to time, but our future is beyond our control. Luckily, we are blessed to be wrapped in the warmth of God’s love to catch us when we fall.