Particular Ponderings

I find myself in the same repetitive cycle. Once again, the feeling of familiarity arises during the battle of hearts. I’m choosing a different path than the many I have previously walked. I can feel wishful thinking wiggling it’s eager way to the forefront of the future. However, to walk this particular path, I must focus on the faintest of steps with no destination in mind. Sort of a let go and let it be motto… I have never understood focusing on the moment until now. It is as if I have broken free. The peace and resonance of self love is solace. I struggle with the yearning to heal those I can see are broken, but now comes the time I must revive my soul. I will always lend the one hand and forever it will be there to help direct humanity to love, but the other hand must console me. I celebrate hope moment by moment and smile knowing it will construct what is meant to be.

✌🏼💛☯️

John 14:16-17

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.”

Am I Found?

Just like that… I’m back,

I’m in the purple of the flame;

The all that’s not to blame.

You might have felt as though, you gave me the fame…

The safe part is behind that plaster you value; you still look lame.

Ha, Ha! If only you could feel it,

The righteousness of my kiss.

It is having a good heart that is bliss;

I’m sorry it’s public. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I’m sure you’re slightly pissed.

Untuck you’re shirt, you never did that before,

I’m sorry, I bet, slightly, it’s a bore.

I just hope it counts,

Your name sounds good just by the way my lips feel when I say the way it sounds.

The past is a mistake made by both of us, it weighs mounds;

I’m sorry if it is me that you think you found.

Love me one day, just don’t make it today…

As a present day drifter:  I am somewhat shattered and have taped myself back together by  risky decisions and  aspirations. The trickery of habitual roads has led me astray. My self discovery expedition has become pandemonium. My soul is full and drifting about in the energy of others, as a ship wreck full of diamonds, would slowly scatter about with every crash of ocean’s waves.

-KBJ

This is why, writer’s & musicians can’t be together…

“They both want to change the world. One with more force than the other…”

-KBJ

Dear, Beautiful Woman…

When the hurt never ceases,

Do not live in shame.

You are HIS masterpiece,

So rejoice in loves’ flame.

If you get the feeling of guilt,

Do not follow the Trail of Tears.

Pain can be comfortably rebuilt,

Instant aid only enables our fears.

Let your soul be the gladiator!

The internal battle you will win.

Let Karma be the mediator,

You just heal & mend.

KBJ

You have to be Friends!

We outgrow people…Always evolving to see what we lack. In those moments you have to have friendship or it simply won’t work. We are different, therefore it is impossible to share the exact same lifetime. After all, the moments we enjoy most about relationships are the bounding, in other wards connection.

Time, space, existence are all responsible for that connection. No two people have the same path. When the roads wind away from one another there will be a loss of connection. This happens with all people meet. Why do we put so much emphasis on our partnership?

We expect more out another person then we do ourselves.

What are some of your longest connections (relationships) Family… Friends… EX’s? These are people you love. They are treated differently than a co-worker or acquaintance. You give more of yourself. I’m not going to invite a co-worker over for pizza and ice cream on a Saturday night. However, I would ask my sister or best friend. When we grow apart in relationships we will stray to find something that we connect to, unless, we are able to rekindle the connection ourselves.

Love is Yin-Yang kind of thing. You get what you give and for a friend you will love, laugh, cry, and venture. Don’t waste time on trying to love or be loved by someone you do not connect to. It will not last.

Is it Fate?

It brings a smile to my face to introduce you to this character. He is creative, charming, naturally handsome, determined, and passionate.  Not to sound cliché, but I can still remember the first moment our eyes met! It’s a rare moment in time. My guess is that time stood still because I can distinctly, to this day, smell the room, hear the song playing on the stereo, and experience the comfort of completeness I felt inside when his eyes met mine. It is unrivaled. Sounds like forever kind of story, huh? Well… would you believe me if I told you that we, “dated”, on and off for 10 years, sometimes it was me that drifted, others it was him. There was never a sad, hurtful, boring moment between us. It was fun, sexy, and enticing. However, life had a hold of us and would alert us when it was time to go out there in the real world and gain some more experience. Then suddenly, we would unexpectedly be in the same place at the same time. Even if it was at the entrance of a Kroger supermarket, we had this divine, universal connection. It was not until we were in our late twenties that we had a serious relationship. He was the prince charming to my fairytale and the best part was I was never disappointed or let down. We had what other’s yearn for; we EQUALLY made one another a better person. It was a slice of paradise.

All good things come to an end. What? Did you think it would be that easy? One moment turned it all around. It felt itchy and uncomfortable. We didn’t feel special anymore. Our worlds fell apart and the therapists lined their pockets. I was shattered, contemplating on how we could easily transition our children into living in separate homes. Days of denial passed before the universe grabbed us tight and placed us in the same place at the same time.

Who would have known a You Tube video about Aliens and the world’s creation would send us on a journey that can only be experienced and never explained. Disclaimer: This is not fiction and I not writing about bright, green life forms with big, black eyes. I am speaking of a journey about religion, God, mind, body & soul; astronomy, nature, and awareness. If you gather anything from reading this, get curious and do your own research. In other words that maybe easily understood, this journey was created by divine intervention. I would love to share the tale of discovery with you now, but you will have to read the book. 🙂 Here’s a little sneak peek:

Can you say that the universe (i.e. everything) confirms that your relationship is a divine union? The world shared secrets with us that no one could begin to think up! Listen to me! You will find love and partnership once you can be yourself, naked for the world to see… We are human and we lose faith from time to time, but our future is beyond our control. Luckily, we are blessed to be wrapped in the warmth of God’s love to catch us when we fall.