The want for “normalcy” pounds from inside my chest. I give you my best. Once again I am offered less. If I give my all, how can you let me down like the rest. I have felt like a Queen with you. I replay all the memories, not just a few. What am I supposedContinue reading “Some Pain you Cannot Numb”
Tag Archives: myself
There’s this side to me that I rarely enjoy to let out. Despair tosses inside my stomach when I try to just be. It buries it’s self in my throat. Static ravages my chest. The build up keeps me distracted from any solution. Where do I find relief? A protest for peace is coming. MayContinue reading “Fingers Linger.”
It Ought to be Different this Time…
This occasion is rare. It is not often that we whole -heartedly, disagree. As we end the night, there isn’t a breath to spare. The odd part is I believe in your ideas of how things should be. I get that the reality of it all is crooked. That doesn’t mean I agree with theContinue reading “It Ought to be Different this Time…”
I’ve spent 27 years trying to gain your approval. I’m more successful than I ever dreamt of! My life’s happiness is imperative on your removal. All I ever wanted was your love… Here we go again… Your silence thickness as my relief exudes. If only mom were here…Amen! Manipulation fuels your attitude. You will neverContinue reading “Daddy Issues”
A Captured Soul
Anxiety makes it awkward, You can relate… It’s you I prefer! May be a mental state? My mind has been weak; My heart was previously manipulated. It’s just peace that I seek. With you, I am rejuvenated. Life seems to be infinitely intertwined. We’ve come full circle. Is there better to find? Mutual feelings areContinue reading “A Captured Soul”
Don’t Give Up
You mean something! You are so much, to so many. Oh, the smiles and fun you bring… Love? You have plenty! Where is your mind? We all love you. There has to be a different comfort to find… You’re giving misery a place to brew! Let us help! Stop running. You are losing yourself… WeContinue reading “Don’t Give Up”
I know how to make a mark, A part of me yearns for the past without mistakes. But I keep the depths of my soul in the dark. The other parts linger between the present and futures sake. May my love remain untamed. You are my my musketeer! It’s all the same… I often wonderContinue reading “Sometime…”
A Parallel Pair
In this wild world; let’s give it a whirl. It’s time to have faith! Come on and follow my pace. Your ways make my soul unfurl. In hindsight, we had a Pearl! It is with you I am safe, And that is a feeling I can’t seem to replace. May our Yin and Yang stillContinue reading “A Parallel Pair”
Today…Tomorrow… & Hopefully the Next…
Always in the background, Familiar presence covers me. The unknown is what we have found. It is love that set us free! In normalcy we would drown, Individualism…we agree. It is in the division that we frown. It is through God’s eyes that we see, May our future be sound. P.S. Be willing to receiveContinue reading “Today…Tomorrow… & Hopefully the Next…”
A part of me is sad, This place seems so empty and bare. My spirit should be glad, I am positive I left us behind, here, somewhere… There are paths that we travel alone. Growth stems from the pain, I couldn’t accept being something you control. Retro…the good time still remains. You helped me spreadContinue reading “Tides-“
The King & Queen – A Pair, but not a match.
We steady open and close doors looking for equality. The cards we are dealt do not align with the expected aftermath. A King & Queen seem to be a pair, but are yet the opposites of one another. They are not a perfect match. The both remain very different in their solitary ways. I ponderContinue reading “The King & Queen – A Pair, but not a match.”
Is this Nature, God, or Man?
What is happening? 🤔 Is Mother Nature striking back? Is Jesus coming? Are we being affected by 5G? Mother Nature: 🌎🌪🔥⛈🌊 Our planet is slowly, fading from the oil spills, concrete jungles, & pollution. The next shopping mart, factory, or chemical spill could be the last straw. However, if you are unable to leave aContinue reading “Is this Nature, God, or Man?”
✌🏼May I Come in Peace?✌🏼
Love sings the song of the heart! Our hugs feel like shelter… This has been hell from the start! It’s been a while since this girl has looked at the cards life has dealt her… The hopefulness lingers. She just want to feel safe! Her strength is victorious, even against what Karma brings her. MayContinue reading “✌🏼May I Come in Peace?✌🏼”
One Hand on Another
You’re tired; I’m worn-out… You’re grumpy; I’m cranky…You’re pushing me away; I’m staying to myself. At least we have something in common…
🎭Just me, I guess…🎭
I am a peacemaker, but my emotions are rather extreme. I think in an artistic way, but express myself in a passive way. In love, I seek excitement. I take on the role of the comedian. Sincerely, Honesty… 💌
People Panic…Do you?
I first would like to apologize if you disagree. Secondly, many are out there making rash decisions. When your out of your routine things can get a little ichy. So I ask you which one are you? And why? – The consumer – The rebel – The conspiracy theorist – The spiritual guide I’ll tellContinue reading “People Panic…Do you?”
The comfort that lingers is thick… I want to run at the first sign of it! Every time I almost break free… I can feel you inside of me. Just pull me closer… On second thought, let me off this roller coster. You are my Polaroid… An instant fix for this void.
It’s a shame; You behave… I should stop going to your place! You always lie.. Go get high. You said you’ve seen me with that guy… oh, oh, oh yeah.. Hang on don’t go – We both know.. We can stoop excessively, low. 0h…oh…oh…oh It’s a shame… I hate these games! Do you even rememberContinue reading “Real Release”
Just another Layer of the Sun…
Dear helping hand, Get it out of me…hurry! Even the lines are all getting blurry. I don’t know why it’s tearing apart my body. I’m confused at this path you pave me You feel like concrete darling, Am I being punished or saved? Yours Truly, Desperate Despair
The Lingering Catalyst
I can feel myself deteriorate; I fell so toxic. We made what we could make… I should have used logic! There’s a tiny lump inside me; I can feel the scabs flake away. The pain I can feel on my knees, Desperately, I pray. Just when you think the chapter gets better, The pages haveContinue reading “The Lingering Catalyst”
The silence is frightening; I am forced to deal. You have a grip on my breathing that seems to be tightening; I HATE to feel. The sadness I cannot bare, For I wrestle with fate. The only reflection is my empty, stare. My stomach turns at the thought of being late. Parts of me beginContinue reading “Deep Down”
Protected: 🎧 Sharing is Caring 🎧
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Coming back to life, OUCH!
I know you hate to lose, You’re probably wishing it was you; that I would choose. But I am tired of being your muse. Can’t you find someone else to use? I might cave. But once I get home, I won’t want to stay I feel at peace when I am away It is meContinue reading “Coming back to life, OUCH!”
I Can Feel You
It all began with a lump in the throat forged by abandonment; Quickly, followed by the uncertainty of the future. No choice was given except clinging tightly the the one thing left, even if it was not reciprocated. Whether the situation involved being taken or running away, the only feeling left was hollow resentment. TraumaContinue reading “I Can Feel You”
I choose you too!
You choose me when I’m insecure, Even when my speech is all blurred. Or when my judgement maybe curved. You choose me when I wouldn’t Although, you probably shouldn’t Thank for doing it when I couldn’t You choose me when I over think, Even when depression is on the brink, In all of my plansContinue reading “I choose you too!”
A Stillness Wonder…
You don’t reach out although smothered by hands. Admitting to the fear, Is that of moral stance. It is too toxic for you to remain near. I crumple our compassion and hand it over, Love in your heart has left. You can not win at life by simply using a clover, It hurt me toContinue reading “A Stillness Wonder…”
So is this whole being in the same place that you have before where you make different results? I don’t know if this is my meaning here or maybe my exit. I’m either here to always chose love and light no matter the situation or I’m a dumbass that’s simply insane. I am open forContinue reading “Conundrum #77,777”
I find myself in the same repetitive cycle. Once again, the feeling of familiarity arises during the battle of hearts. I’m choosing a different path than the many I have previously walked. I can feel wishful thinking wiggling it’s eager way to the forefront of the future. However, to walk this particular path, I mustContinue reading “Particular Ponderings”
Am I Found?
Just like that… I’m back, I’m in the purple of the flame; The all that’s not to blame. You might have felt as though, you gave me the fame… The safe part is behind that plaster you value; you still look lame. Ha, Ha! If only you could feel it, The righteousness of my kiss.Continue reading “Am I Found?”
The struggle isn’t real…
We’ve all heard it – “The struggle is real!” I call bullshit (for lack of a better term). We do it to ourselves. We put up with the stress and unhappiness. For what? Do we really believe that we will wake up one day and suddenly be in live with a job we have hatedContinue reading “The struggle isn’t real…”
Soulmate, aka, Warrior
I had always imagined love to be some sort of fairy tale. Ya know, one of those best friend relationship kind of vibes? It was today, I found out the truth: Love will leave you naked- with that comes embarrassment, self-pity, & high expectations… Your scars are revealed and relived – Those deep dark pitsContinue reading “Soulmate, aka, Warrior”
One Day, Love… One Day
One day… You will find someone who loves even the darkest parts of your soul. You will receive what you give. You will not be let down by broken promises. You will know without a doubt that he loves your child(ren) as you do. You will stop believing in what people say and only whatContinue reading “One Day, Love… One Day”
Fake Fairy Tales
Every little girl has her favorite Disney Princess; Her own imaginable love story. There’s an automatic expectation that girls should be rescued and protected by a knight in shining armor. Or that her love will be so great it will transform a beast into an honest man… Don’t get me wrong the whole’ “love story”Continue reading “Fake Fairy Tales”
Dear, Discernible Future
You came along and taught me that I am capable. I was too stubborn to put enough trust into something new. I should taken time to trust myself…You were familiar and you knew the worst parts of me. The understanding of human flaw we shared was undeniable. We needed each other and a swift kickContinue reading “Dear, Discernible Future”
“There are many occasions that our soul recognizes what it needs, but our heart & mind misinterpret.” -KBJ
Dear, 2019 … Bring it on!
I could tell by the first few day of this year; I will be challenged. Thankfully, 2018 helped shape me into a warrior. I experienced things that I never imagined to be possible. I was enlightened by my own manifestations. Just as I was in the verge of surrender, I found myself. I am centered,Continue reading “Dear, 2019 … Bring it on!”
I Don’t Blame, ya!
It may have taken me a nervous breakdown and an sobering amount of self-pity, but I figured it out without explanation. Instead of destroying it; you wanted to preserve the link. It was impossible for me to heed, coming from a series of conditional relationships. I’m not sure if it was the anxiety or prideContinue reading “I Don’t Blame, ya!”
“(D)on’t (B)reak, (K)id”
To my sweet, rosy-cheeked, little mischief-maker, I am writing this as your mother, although, you refer to me as Wonder Woman, I am human. It will be years before you read this and I may change it a million times, but there are a few things in this world I can protect you from. IfContinue reading ““(D)on’t (B)reak, (K)id””
The Euphoric Mishap
“It was a smile that hung cock eyed, just enough to melt the hearts of women. Con-artist were envious of it’s glow and felt less of themselves in it’s presence. On rare occasions I would desire to be the recipient of it’s affection, convinced it was perpetual. At the culmination of it’s existence the smileContinue reading “The Euphoric Mishap”
I imagine it to be an all over consciousness of unyielding love. Something that is comparable to lying in the clouds surrounded by ripples of comfort; drifting about in utter Peace. It is a jubilation that has no metric of time to prepare or reminisce. It is surely a place of belonging, security, certainty… completeContinue reading “Heaven”
– Looking Back –
“A part of you respected me, while the other questioned whether I love you. Trust in your heart for it will remain obliged” -KBJ
Do you really know God?
“God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” John 4:24 ESV God is spirit, but who is spirit? Or what is spirit? As defined by, Oxford Dictionary: [ Spirit: Noun; the nonphysical part of a person that is the seat of emotions and character; theContinue reading “Do you really know God?”
Take my Advice
“People are rarely who they claim to be; but perhaps it is who they wish to become?”-KBJ
“If you make him your shelter; you will be left bare. Smile in the rediscovery for it will be your journey. ” – KBJ
I am either over flowing with emotions that defeat logic or my thoughts are eagerly bouncing about like a game of ping pong in hope that my indecisiveness may become dormant. -KBJ
Authentically, Rule the Occassion.
Solitude waits patiently lurking between the conscious and subconscious. The unfamiliar territory is home to a duplicate of me. She is wild, fearless, and leads with her heart. We share the same mirror, but our reflections are differing. I can no longer ignore the roar and she is on the prowl. It is from herContinue reading “Authentically, Rule the Occassion.”
Let it be you!
Why does it feel so wrong to chose myself? I’ve been here too many times to count. A whirl wind romance on the fritz staggering between falling apart or becoming toxic. I’m not a victim. I know my faults, flaws, and wrong doings. I know I continue the vicious cycle, I cringe at the firstContinue reading “Let it be you!”
🌜Love thyself to the Moon and Back🌜
You are that of a divine creation, Do NOT live within the dictation. They have created a dependent civilization; This way of life disturbs the essential vibration. Emotions are tossed and turned in the gravitation, For we yearn for the shifts of lunation. Throughout the majestic rotation, Societal life fills the soul with vexation. Awaken Continue reading “🌜Love thyself to the Moon and Back🌜”
The Missing Key
I just have these days: gloomy, doubt-filled, in-complacent, dark, and dirty days that just creep up without warning. It is in these moments I can’t find what it is I need to change. What is the actual problem here? Is this just some universal shift or do I need a complete life make over? TheContinue reading “The Missing Key”
It’s a serene place, really. One that feels like home, but you don’t know it until you leave kind of place. It offers the comfort of hygee. It’s a place filled with such open space it feels free to be naked. It’s strange to feel free. Vulnerable;if you consider growing in a place just waitingContinue reading “Flip Side”
This or That? – Tag you’re it! :)
Now that my blog has grown a bit, I get to mingle! Thank you, Superheroes009 (https://superheroes009.wordpress.com) for tagging me in this fun post! I hope that many people get a chance to check out our fun pages. I’m excited to see how this goes. I think it is a great idea to share some ofContinue reading “This or That? – Tag you’re it! :)”
Mystery Blogger Award
YAY!!! I am beyond words, right now! I have finally been nominated for a Blog award! Hip, hip, hooray! A HUGE thank you is in order for The Hippy chic for nominating me! Thank you, Michelle!She writes from an honest heart and shares her struggles and triumphs with us all. A true blogger to sayContinue reading “Mystery Blogger Award”
Dear Single Mom:
It’s okay to love again. Or is it? There is nothing more terrifying than dating as a single mother. Will they be okay with kids? Will my child like them? When should I introduce them? Will he be a good role model? There are so many questions that come to mind it makes you wantContinue reading “Dear Single Mom:”
Someone very dear to me once asked me, “Why don’t you invest in yourself?”. The question left me speechless for a moment. The silence was quickly covered by a million different excuses and reasons as to why I was to busy to do what I really enjoyed. That then led me to another question… WhatContinue reading “#GoalDigger”
Dear Twin Flame,
I am not sure if you are found; Or the one that is always around. The truth will be revealed, But it is by chance that the former will be sealed. Surety has wandered. Fate is not that of this earth; It is in the love of all things true. My soul is wide awakeContinue reading “Dear Twin Flame,”
I Tame your Fire, as I am, the Fuel.
You grab a hold of all my static and place all my particles perfectly where they are preordained. The way you budge piques my interest. You stimulate me in way that evokes emotion. I am not biased. Just when I feel myself begin to lose control, your touch grounds me. As a fire burns brightContinue reading “I Tame your Fire, as I am, the Fuel.”
The Commitment of Trust
You were comfort in a time of despair. So close to a new beginning you even tasted bittersweet. You filled my heart with surety and intent. I can’t say whether it is due to the preexisting damage or the way I perceive things, but In the absence of trust it was all gone. People doContinue reading “The Commitment of Trust”
Love me one day, just don’t make it today…
As a present day drifter: I am somewhat shattered and have taped myself back together by risky decisions and aspirations. The trickery of habitual roads has led me astray. My self discovery expedition has become pandemonium. My soul is full and drifting about in the energy of others, as a ship wreck full of diamonds,Continue reading “Love me one day, just don’t make it today…”
The Courtesy of Chaos
It is true that we live in the same situations until rise above them? It’s an internal hell of insanity. The soul yearns to be loved to a degree the fondness is manifested out feeble intentions. It’s something that happens at full tilt. It’s joyous and overly appropriate. A fondness developed by emotion without definitionContinue reading “The Courtesy of Chaos”
I spent all this time thinking I knew how to love. I wasn’t loving; I was learning. The truest of loves comes and reveals to you all the challenges you’ve ever had with anyone else in the past. But this time it will be value and held in high regard. Something that is unspeakable, andContinue reading “Lemonade Love”
Stuck in the Glow
As a firefly on a hot summer night, I am a light and dance in the darkness. My soul is consumed in joy and sharpness. While my mind is blending in with the background. Whether I am illuminating the brilliance of a long lost traveler or patiently walking behind the unrighteous, yet here I remain.Continue reading “Stuck in the Glow”
Spring: a time for renewal. A chance to turn over a new leaf. This freedom is invigorating with a perverted insistence on some sort growth. The expansion alone rips my walls down one by one. It is not in the death of the things I am letting go of that makes life raw,but the ratherContinue reading “Bearable, Transformation”
Well, hello, Mr. Unexpected… Who are you and who sent you to open this door that I have yet to acknowledge? It is the unforeseen circumstances that our energy has danced in unison. The perfect brokenness inside of one another fitting together like puzzles pieces. It is the nervous feeling within that suggests we mayContinue reading “Mr. Unannounced”
And I Thought it was me, saving you…
All this time I thought it was me; saving you. Although, I can’t quite figure out the place I am in now, I know there’s something to come of this. It feels like a wildfire ready to burn bright. There’s just not too many ashes for it to ignite. I never realizes how safe youContinue reading “And I Thought it was me, saving you…”
“It’s a Thrill to be a Fan Amongst Fans”-Nathan Fillion
It is of recent I decided to write from the Soul. No impressing, tweaking, or trying to market a specific kind of reader, just plain ol’ me. I am enthused with the amount readers, writers, bloggers, and critics that took time out of their busy lives and utter most passion to let me know thatContinue reading ““It’s a Thrill to be a Fan Amongst Fans”-Nathan Fillion”
This is why, writer’s & musicians can’t be together…
“They both want to change the world. One with more force than the other…” -KBJ
I was Raised by a Sociopath.
I say this uncomfortably while clamoring in the realization of events that just took place. My life is changing dramatically. Numerology has kept me aware and gave me something exciting to concentrate on. It’s a little slice of fun, as is astrology, and I truly enjoy the energy of these spiritualities. However, it’s new. AContinue reading “I was Raised by a Sociopath.”
You’re not Welcome Here, Anymore…
I would find relief untangled from you. This is my day! I no longer want to know how you feel. Can I have what you stole, back? Life has conveniently dropped all your tools in my lap. Unwillingly, I am supplied with the chords of success in your dream. I want so badly to masterContinue reading “You’re not Welcome Here, Anymore…”
Apollo was considered the God of sun, music, light, & Prophecy… I will learn how to enjoy you, I will figure out what your about, I used to long for the quiet, just a moment to check my mood. Though, I didn’t want to go this route… I always knew you could. SoContinue reading “Dear Silence,”
Tomorrow I will be Better.
Just when I think I knew what love was… I wonder how many times I will say that in life. I gave so much of myself to us. I don’t know who I am. I am fearful and in times of fear I seek comfort. You were my comfort. So, now I seek nothing. ThatContinue reading “Tomorrow I will be Better.”
A Love Story
She patiently slipped away to herself. The silence of the early morning brought such tranquility. As the oldies played in the background…She was making a decision between the rest of her life or their life. Headstrong on the thought that you had to be selfish to be happy. She grew bitter. As days past theContinue reading “A Love Story”
Dear, Beautiful Woman…
When the hurt never ceases, Do not live in shame. You are HIS masterpiece, So rejoice in loves’ flame. If you get the feeling of guilt, Do not follow the Trail of Tears. Pain can be comfortably rebuilt, Instant aid only enables our fears. Let your soul be the gladiator! The internal battle you willContinue reading “Dear, Beautiful Woman…”
A Special Thank You!
Each and everyone of you took time out of your day to read my thoughts and for that I am truly grateful! You’re comments and support has been encouraging. They would be but simple words without you all to read them. “Words are a lens to focus one’s mind” -Ayn Rand
Here you have it, Folks…The End.
Today I threw in the towel. I can no longer accept the disrespect. I hope that I am a mad person and I am making this decision over some kind of irrational emotion, but logically I cannot see it as that. If I explain my problems, triggers, and stresses in life and they are acknowledgeContinue reading “Here you have it, Folks…The End.”
If we lost it all tomorrow, Would you share in the sorrow? If a helping hand became needy, Would you give to it freely? If it stopped serving it’s purpose, Would you find it worthless? If it became routine , Would you know the unseen? If it stressed you out, Would you start to doubt?Continue reading “Deep Horizons”
Dancing with Fire
I want so badly for you to understand; You are the warrior kind of man. I will always be your fan. Confide in me, I promise that you can. It is imperative I tell you my secret. It’s similar to Cleopatra in Egypt. It becoming more and more frequent. I can help that love isContinue reading “Dancing with Fire”
No longer does it fit perfectly in place. The charismatic passion is gone. It feels itchy now – uncomfortably seeping into every faucet of life. The perfect fit of a glove became the sock falling of my heel in my shoe. Irritating is how I would describe it. It was so exhilarating before. Life wasContinue reading “Dirty-Tragic Relationship”
I have this newfound respect for artists, entrepreneurs, designers, and anyone promoting their passion. It takes ambition, dedication, insanity (at times), but an unthinkable amount of hard work. Hours upon hours of research, practice, and conversation at times feels exciting, other times it can be exhausting. It’s the equivalent of teetering between a multitude ofContinue reading “Famous, yet?”