My mouth has no self-control.
Lovely, scenarios of what I want life to be like play in my mind…
The interruptions are self-inflicted and weigh heavy on my soul.
Most yell, rarely are they kind.
I have hid from my own shadow.
It always seems to return.
The rendezvous always ends in a new low.
You think by now I would have learned…
I ALWAYS come back.
This time my hope is broken,
All I can seem to think about is what I must lack.
May I regret that we have spoken.
Why isn’t it enough?
We could paint a world of love with words,
I never thought proving it would be this rough.
Then again maybe it’s just a painful reminder that many of my thoughts are absurd.
Is it me or is it you that is so truly loved?
We made a display of my scars and gracefully set my shortcomings on the table for all to see…
If only we could be beckoned before push comes to shove.
All of this coming and going, has filled my heart with grief.
My voice is not needed because I know you can feel,
But I still cry at the thought of this being permanent.
I enjoy us, so I chose not to heal.
Remember, the had no need to vent?